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<span style="font-size:1rem;line-height:1rem;"> <h1 style="display:inline-block;">為什麼我們總是愛錯? </h1>:梳理你的原生家庭,走出鬼打牆的愛情</span>
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「人在寂寞時,會做一些傻事。<br>然後自覺長了智慧後,去做一些更傻的事。」<p><br> 你也陷入一段窒息的關係嗎?<br> 潛意識中,你早已被設定為「尋找痛苦」,<br> 被批評、被忽略、被要求──<br> 從小最熟悉的感受,讓你將創傷誤以為是愛。<br><br> ①「他對我真的很好,半夜騎三小時的車買消夜給我、假日帶我上山下海不嫌累、想盡辦法幫我遠離討厭的家人。但是,他會要求我跟他約會時化全妝、說我的政治看法是錯的,最近還要我下載定位App,讓我壓力很大……」 ➡遇上「過度付出」的【拯救者】<br><br> ②「每次他跟家人吵完架就會打電話給我,說要從十樓跳下去。每次我們吵架他都會情緒崩潰,把桌子翻了碗也摔破,像是變了一個人。有幾次還出車禍摔斷腿要我照顧他,我都搞不清楚他是不小心的還是刻意的?」 ➡遇上「過度依賴」的【受難者】<br><br> ③「我們在交友軟體上認識,在一起三年只見了五次面……他說自己很忙,平日上班、中午重訓、晚上進修,我卻發現他還在交友軟體上持續約炮,只要任何人和他談到感情,他就又跳到其他關係。」 ➡遇上「過度疏離」的【逃避者】<br><br> ──這三種愛情劇本、角色性格,你是否覺得熟悉?<br><br> 其實,每個人心中都存在著上述三種角色,或許沒那麼強烈,也或許強烈到足以破壞一段關係。這些都是從小培養起的人格特質,也是長大後與人互動的潛意識劇本,使得我們冥冥之中老是遇到相似的情人,重複著同樣的行為模式,愛得好累卻又難以離去。<br><br> 童年的創傷往往展現在長大後的愛情,你可以在本書中看到,每位角色都試圖彌補過往的缺憾,尤其是與主要照顧者間的情感匱乏,導致在後續關係中的不安全感、自卑感、空虛感,然後再用另一些雖然更受傷,但還能感受到「愛」的方式,祈望找到一個「永遠不會壞掉的家人」。<br><br> 但若要找回那份愛,我們需要看清關係的樣貌,也認回受傷的自己。<br> 本書作者莊博安心理師說:<br><br> ■ 愛自己是,讓心自由。<br> ■ 愛自己是,將自我與他人視作同等程度的大小。<br> ■ 愛自己是,別把生命中重要的人事時地物遺忘,不論它們曾經是好是壞。<br> ■ 愛如同膠水,將自我的心碎歷史重新完整拼湊。<br> ■ 一份成熟踏實的情感是:「我希望你能夠愛我,而我也會持續愛我自己。」<br><br> 如果你願意,作者邀請你透過書中的「3大角色、6種劇本、14位個案、7項練習」,梳理原生家庭的創傷,走出受挫的感情迷宮,學習如何重新「愛」回自己,讓心不再漂泊流浪。<br><br></p><p>
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品牌名稱遠流<br>
類型平裝<br>
商品規格作者:莊博安<br>
出版社: 遠流<br>
出版日期:2020/11/27<br>
ISBN:9789573289012<br>
裝訂方式:平裝<br>
呎吋開本:25開<br>
頁數:272<br>
內文印刷:單色<br>
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